Gave it a listen tonight. Sometimes songs, or bands, or even a whole album will throw you back into memories of someone, whether you like it or not. Velvet Underground takes me back to, eh, circa 2007. It was summer, and I was taking a class called Women in Popular Culture. Fell pretty hard for a junky that summer. Had a crush on him from the moment I saw him, years prior. I remember that he took me out to sushi, and I wondered in the back of my mind how he got the money to pay for it. I remember a conversation we had on his porch one night (okay, A porch one night. A SOBER LIVING porch one night).... and we talked for like 3 hours and chain smoked. It was rad. And I recall the first time I picked him up from downtown,... and I knew it was sketchy... and then I knew he was loaded. It was the first time I'd ever seen someone high on heroin before. It is very bizarre. I remember him crying and I remember not knowing if I should believe his emotions to be authentic. I remember also feeling guilty for having those thoughts. I remember going to class and wondering all day if he would be okay,... wondering if he'd get high again before I saw him next... wonder if he'd be off on the run and back on the streets living under bridges. Wondering if this was an isolated incident. I remember how it was in fact NOT an isolated incident, and I was consistently faced with the decision to believe him or not, wonder if he was high or not, decide whether or not to let him stay with me, have to ignore his phone calls when I so badly wanted to answer them, watch him walking down the street homeless with no where to go while I watched out the window and DIDN'T answer his calls.
I haven't thought about him in a long time. I hope he's alright. He was a really smart and interesting person.
No comments:
Post a Comment