Plan D.

I feel like my intentions and expectations of how things would be moving here to SF have been so far from reality. In some ways things are so much shittier than I expected.... in some ways things are so much more beautiful that I could have ever imagined. I guess you just never know what you're gonna get. I feel like there are so many lessons in everything that's happened, that's happening, that's going to happen.... as for now I feel pinned in a lot of different areas. I know this is not forever... nothing's forever... this is temporary... things will get better... they will get worse... But JESUS CHRIST. I feel the most unstable and ungrateful and uninspired and untalented and unappreciative as I EVER HAVE probably in my whole life. I've decided today that I have to let all this shit out in a creative outlet or I'm going to rip apart everyone who cares about me in the process of trying to cope with my own issues and adjustments to life. So there I go,... that's the new plan. If I continue to try to put my happiness in the hands of others I will eternally be let down. End of story

In other news, Bunny AKA Auntie Ra Ra came for the weekend to visit... first time coming up here since I've been here. Despite the fact that I felt like things weren't as fun because I wasn't getting wasted, because I'm broke as PHO, and I'm a psycho crazy person, all in all the weekend was badical. Please see below for a sample.








Good and equally crazy friends are hard to come by.

Saturation Nation.

When I was in college I considered for a moment being a buyer... seems fun enough, right? You just pick what you like and order it on some one else's dime. WRONG. Maybe it's because I'm a designer at heart, but getting the consistent stream of catalogs and linesheets from unknown's trying to bust in with their super unoriginal bullshit really takes a toll on a girl. I guess I was "young and naive" in my college fashion school days.... This job in particular has opened my eyes to how extremely saturated the streetwear market is. It's very disheartening to me. I don't know why. It just feels like everyone in the world has a clothing company. It's all the same shit. Most of it has no real premise. Really makes me wonder where my place is in all of this. Since I was 5 years old all I've ever wanted to be was a fashion designer. But this kind of shit makes me want to run for the hills. Tortured artist or mislead young and confused adult? Please observe the trainwreck. Unfortunately this is only one of many that I am rejecting on the daily.




Agh. C'mon guys.

Livin The Dream.

This is what my job has amounted to.



Each and every payday, myself and all my fellow employees scour the city of San Francisco attempting to cash our paycheck at a Money Mart, Check Express,.. you know the establishments. After several attempts that are rejected, we might find some poor sap who feels bad for us and cashes it. A week or so later we will receive calls from this old sap to our personal cell phones, moaning on and on that our boss won't return their calls, our checks were returned and we will be held responsible for the amount three fold.

I've been looking for other jobs for months and have nothing. I'm out of good ideas and giving EVERYTHING IN ME to try to keep a good attitude and not bring down everyone around me. LIVIN' THE DREAM obviously. I will likely be hookin' in the 'Loin by the end of the month to keep puppy food on the table. What's the going rate for blowjobs? Please let me know so I can set the bar. Thanks.

The Unthinkable.

Over the weekend, I payed a visit to my fantastic hairdresser friend for the standard trim and color. To my dismay it's been revealed that a few grey hairs have shown their hideous face. WHAT IS GOING ON!? I'm 24. This is completely unacceptable.

RUNNING ON EMPTY.

New place. New roommates. New pup. New boyfriend. All good overall... but I'm completely exhausted and need a good long rest.

NERVES.

As if there weren't enough changes going on in my life, I feel like it's just the tip of the iceberg for some reason. I am full of nerves and I really have no idea how things are going to go from here.

Why.

So ridiculous. However I will probably buy into this just because it's random and awkward and strange.






The Pip Countdown has begun. T Minus 5 days. Whoop!






See ya in Pipville. <3

Anatomy of a Broad.

No matter what neighborhood you're chillin in, every girl in the city has in their closet, has worn in the last week, or is currently wearing THE UNIFORM.



And I can't say I'm not part of the cookie cutter collection. Steeze is a trip sometimes. I find that in all the facets of the fashion industry, I'm most intrigued on the collision of fashion and demographics.

Peep it.