God I'm special.
So I just started this job about two weeks ago and occasionally I have to run out and pick something up, drop something off, etc. So I've gone a few times this week to this near by vendor to do just that. The desk girl is kinda "puffy" emo-ish girl who is generally nice to me, and showed me how to get in and out of this stupid ass door with two door knobs that you have to turn simultaneously. Rough sauce. Total grounds for looking like an idiot. I go by this afternoon and try the maneuver several times ending in failure. She sees me struggling and comes out to let me in. As she is turning the knobs, Ms. Brilliant over here says "Am I a total tard or is it locked?" She kinda laughs and says "It's tough". I respond with "...so I'm a tard". She laughs and I notice under her emo swept hairstyle that her eyes are a little slanted and I think she might be a little bit Downs Syndrome-esque. I am a FUCKER. Waita go, Champ.
In other self-criticism, I find myself doing nothing but taking, wanting, complaining and the like lately. On the daily I am neck deep in thoughts of all the things I want in my apartment, all the things I want/need to buy, how much I want my boyfriend here, how I want to change my body, all the want want want want want. I really need to change my perspective. I am two weeks deep on a great new job. I just got my paycheck handed to me and I'm fully confident it was clear. I didn't even have to verbally abuse or get into a confrontation with my supervisor to get my check. I have a great apartment, a host of friends, a boyfriend I love, a family that does everything and more....
I gotta get my mind in order, asap.
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